


Sex Ed Day

by Starla-Nell (Princess_Nell)



Series: The Bournshire Boys [19]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: 3 takes, Done Badly, Sex Education
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24729067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess_Nell/pseuds/Starla-Nell
Summary: It all starts with a discussion of the optional templar vows of chastity. They're teenage boys, so they kind of... fixate. What they do with the information varies.
Series: The Bournshire Boys [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/472279
Kudos: 1





	1. Sister Moyra

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the initial inspiration for this entire series. Based on the Cullen and Alistair romances, what was similar and what was different about their sex ed? Then I discovered the rich and varied differences between the two characters and it grew into a series.
> 
> Anyway, it was probably entirely locker-room talk until fairly late, so I guessed they might be 16 (Cullen) and 17 (Alistair). That puts the year at 9:27 Dragon, and I made it late spring for plot/timeline reasons.
> 
> Also, someday I will add descriptions or maybe context?!? for my OC parade, but today is not that day. Apologies. Basically, there are 2 friend groups whose basis of friendship is hating the other group, one led by Cullen and one led by Leolin. Cullen & Alistair are friends (at least Cullen thinks so).

“In a few short years, you will be taking your vows. There are, of course, the core vows, which we will be studying in detail later, but today I’d like to focus on some of the optional vows.” Sister Moyra felt the right way to approach this subject was from the side, well-grounded in the Chant.

“Let us start with verse 12 from Apotheosis 1, which starts ‘Andraste went with Maferath.’” Sister Moyra listened carefully as the boys stumbled through it. This was part of the Chant they had learned years ago, but rarely practiced. There were times when only one student, probably Bradon, was singing it with her. Alistair missed the entire first line, though he finished the last three without a mistake. That kid always did need a running start.

Andraste went with Maferath and the Aegis to the silver pool.

As she knelt in prayer, the servants of the Archon surrounded them,

Spears raised. Andraste drew her sword

And pierced one man through the heart, but Maferath,

With a blow from his axe, struck the blade from her hands.

And it fell to the ground, and where it landed, tears welled from the land.

“What event does this verse describe? Cullen.”

“The betrayal of our Prophet.”

“Exactly. Maferath arranged this rendezvous with Hessarian’s men in verses four through six, but he could have ambushed the enemy or simply not shown up. The betrayal was irreversible in this verse. Why did Maferath betray his wife?”

The boys looked startled or worried, and none raised their hands. This was a part of their Prophet’s life that was not talked about in polite company. However, this was a necessary step to get to her main point. “I have been serving the Chantry for longer than many of you have been alive. I know our Prophet was not perfect. You may speak truth without offending me. Turlach?”

“Because she was unfaithful.”

“That is the most commonly given answer. And yet, it is not so. Maferath had known when he agreed to lead Andraste’s armies that she was beloved by the Maker, and that he must share her affections. What changed? Padraig.”

“Jealousy.”

“Correct. Let’s sing from Apotheosis 1, earlier this time. Let’s say… verse 2.” And so they sang:

Maferath’s heart grew cold

As he looked upon the field of the dead and heard

The chant of “Glory! Glory! Glory! Hail to the Maker

Most High! Hail to Andraste, Prophet and liberator,

Light of the world! Look upon our work, O Maker, and rejoice!”

“You can see his jealousy coming to light here. Praises to his Wife, praises to his Wife’s Lover, and none for him, when he led Her armies to this victory. Maferath believed himself betrayed, so he betrayed Them.

“So, what lessons can be learned from our Prophet’s trials?” Sister Moyra didn’t pause for an answer this time. “There are many, but we will concentrate on two today. “First, as templars, never seek wealth or recognition. If you do not expect to receive them, you will never find yourself bitter at the lack. Second, keep love simple. Life is complicated even alone. Each lover’s tie doubles complications. One lover makes life twice as complex. Add a third, and you have not four but eight times the complication. In this case, the relationship between Maferath and Andraste, two, the relationship between Andraste and the Maker, four, and the relationship between Maferath and the Maker, eight. A fourth would make how many more connections?” It never hurts to throw a little reminder of basic lessons. Moyra waits for the garbled chorus of ‘Three more, Sister’ before continuing, “Each of those connections would double life’s complexities.”

“Sister Moyra,” pipes up a boy *describe, “the Chant doesn’t talk about the relationship between Maferath and the Maker.”

“Excellent point, Rian. That is very true. From that, we may gather that they did not deal with their relationship directly, either. It was mediated through Andraste. Had Maferath and the Maker communicated, they could have worked out this issue directly.

“However, a solution presents itself to apply to our lives: Keep life simple. The more people involved, the more complicated it gets, and the easier it is to have problems. Some say romantic problems are not the worst thing that could happen, but in this case there were world-changing implications. Had Andraste succeeded, Tevinter and its evil would be resolved. Three is complicated, two less so, but one is the simplest of all. A templar must focus on duty to the Chantry.” Sister Moyra surveyed the boys’ faces and judged them mostly unconvinced. Natural for such an age, she supposed. Sister Moyra continued, proud of how she’d crafted this lesson over the years.

“Even if you do find someone you like, commitment is difficult for templars. You have to consider the future of your relationship. It’s about fairness to the other person. Let’s look at the practical side of relationships with people from various sectors of society.” Now they would be connecting to prior history and social lessons. 

“Noble ladies seek marriage, which is unlikely to be approved. This lady’s dealings could, after all, conflict with your duties with the Chantry. Perhaps the consequences would not be world-destroying, but they might still be dire.

“So you find another. Perhaps a bar maid. Well.” Sister Moyra let her voice carry her disdain for this option. “If the lady does not have her own means, will your pay be enough to sustain her and any children? Can you assist her when an emergency may strike any moment? A merchant, then, you ask? A farmer? Still no good. You cannot trade as a merchant’s husband, and you won’t have time to work on a farm. No, marriage is not a wise option for you. A templar’s life belongs to the Chantry.” Sister Moyra nodded decisively.

“What about other templars?” Drystan piped up.

Sister Moyra blinked. “Other templars?” Was she not clear? No, the answer is as plain as the nose on her face. This boy was causing problems on purpose.

Farris picked up on this troublemaking energy and added, “Lady templars would understand about our jobs better than anyone. And you could be stationed together.”

This was not a good direction. “Your work will be dangerous. Templars can lose colleagues without warning. And even without that, if the relationship should end badly…” Sister Moyra shook her head, trying to remove energy from this train of thought. “It’s inappropriate to mix work and pleasure. Before you ask, that goes doubly for the mages. You mustn’t get too close. It would damage your objectivity. Templars and mages are your comrades and charges, respectively, not potential mates.”

Farris refused to give up, stubborn child. “We could find someone with her own means, someone who doesn’t need a templar to support her.”

Sister Moyra opened her mouth to object, then saw Farris’ hopeful eyes reflected in over half of the class. She sighed. “Yet the complexity of a relationship could still interfere with your duties. I encourage you all to take chastity vows.” She raises her hand at Farris’ objection, cutting it short. “However, if you must form romantic entanglements, then it will reflect well on the Templar Order and the Chantry if you follow certain guidelines.” Farris sat back, eyes shining.

“You have all learned to be respectful toward women.” Sister Moyra noted that Alistair was looking particularly innocent at that, the little troublemaker. “Being respectful goes doubly for someone you woo. Present yourselves as gentlemen, not thugs or unguilded whores. Get to know the person. Find out what they like. Wait until you are sure of what you want. Obtain _enthusiastic_ consent.” She paused there, weighing her options. Sister Moyra’s charges had to learn the risks of sex, but she risked killing them all from embarrassment if she described in detail everything that happened during such an act. Instead, she used her favorite analogy, drawing on old literature-analysis lessons.

“Each time you get physical, you run the risk of going blind or being struck by lightning.” The analogy was perfect, to Sister Moyra’s mind. Some of the diseases cause blindness if untreated, and being struck by lightening seemed to her sufficiently random and serious to stand in for pregnancy. The Sister was quite proud of this analogy. She had been using it for years.

“What?” said the boys. “How does that work?”

“The Maker may strike, so be aware,” was all she would say. As they contemplated it, the meaning would become clear. Then she turned the topic to the chastity vows themselves and the benefits of taking them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I disagree with Sister Moyra’s interpretation of the Maferath’s motives here. It seems more like he was horrified at the soldiers’ glee in slaughter. Also, it was Shartan and his forces who had enabled the victory mentioned, but the Canticle of Shartan was still considered Dissonant in 9:27 Dragon. So, you know, could be racism.


	2. Sister Cadence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex Ed, Chantry Style, Take 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It... doesn't get much better, actually.

The recruits were particularly chatty tumbling into Sister Cadence’s class that day. She tried to get their attention with the usual “Good morning,” but they were intent on one subject:

“But, hasn’t the Maker turned from the world? How can He strike us blind or with lightening if he doesn’t even know it happened?”

“Maybe… it—that, I mean—is special? Maybe it’s something that attracts his attention?”

“Other people do it, and they don’t get zapped,” Eirnin said. And so on.

Sister Cadence sighed. Every spring. She’d been wondering when Sister Moyra would strike.

“Blindness and lightening,” Sister Cadence announced. Suddenly, she had the entire class’s attention. “What are they?”

The class was silent, blinking at her. Sister Cadence cared about these boys and agreed with Sister Moyra about one thing. Better they stay out of romantic entanglements.

“The blindness and lightening are manifestations of the Maker’s wrath. Duty and honor are always more important than love. That is the lesson the Maker is trying to teach when He strikes down young templars who get…” she clears her throat pointedly, “physically involved.”

This did not satisfy the recruits, of course. “What about Eirnin’s point? A lot of people do it, and the Maker doesn’t strike them down.” A rather clever class; most didn’t get that far.

Sister Cadence was not unprepared, and she really had a lesson to get on with. “Of course, but they are not templars. You live in the Maker’s house, you see. You will do the Maker’s work. You will work with mages every day.” She cast the idea into the classroom.

“What does working with mages have to do with it?” Hook, line, and sinker. Excellent.

“Sometimes, it is difficult to tell whether you are in love or have become a blood mage’s thrall.” Now she had their attention and could get on with today’s lesson. “So, let us examine how to tell whether you or someone you are observing is the thrall of a blood mage…”


	3. Sister Sienna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sister Sienna's take on Chantry Sex Ed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third time's a charm?

Alistair rolled his eyes over his steamed turnip greens with bacon and crumbled cheese. “Cullen, you have to ask her. No one else could get away with it.”

“Why would I be able to get away with it? You just need company in the kitchens again, don’t you,” Cullen said in his even, hard-to-read tone.

Alistair grinned back at him. “Believe me; I’ve no intention of dragging you to the kitchens again. I’ve learned the hard way that some experiences are better left unshared.” Alistair had gotten Cullen in trouble as a one-time favor; he would _never_ tell Cullen about inquiries from some of the more attractive kitchen girls during his next visit. Besides, the Golden Boy, get in trouble for this? Not flaming likely.

Cullen raised an eyebrow but relented. “Alright, what do you want me to ask her?”

“Just her opinion,” Alistair tried to make it as innocent-sounding as possible. “She’s the oldest sister here; it just makes sense that she would have an interesting viewpoint.” 

Sieffre had to ruin it. “About nookie!” Idiot.

“No, no, not anything that rude…” Alistair said, trying to salvage the situation.

“Which is why you don’t want to ask it,” Drystan drawled. That little—Actually, no, that was helpful. Was Drystan actually being helpful? When did that start?

“True,” Alistair said cautiously.

“So you want me to ask Sister Sienna her opinion on romantic relationships.” Cullen concluded.

“Exactly!” Alistair beamed, and then added some butter. “It should be you, with the words, and the phrasing it so much better.”

“Alistair would just open his mouth and put his foot in it,” Drystan confirmed. Helpful, but still annoying. Got it.

“Like you’d do any better,” Alistair mock-groused. He glanced at Cullen. He’d gotten that look he gets when he’s playing chess. That means he’s devising a strategy. Perfect. Now all Alistair had to do was sit back and watch. This should be entertaining. As long as the spry old sister didn’t have a heart attack or anything.

\---

Sister Sienna glared around the room. “Now, does anyone remember what we’re discussing today?” No one responded. There was some extra-uncomfortable shifting. “I told you last class, but I suppose I shouldn’t expect miracles.”

A hand rose.

“Ah, good. Cullen, remind us of today’s topic.”

“It’s about channeling our focus into templar abilities, Sister Sienna, but I was wondering if we could talk about something that came up in another class.”

Sister Sienna noticed that this stilled the other recruits. Her eyebrows jumped. “Alright, I’m curious. What topic?” It could be interesting to address, and clearly focus was not a good topic for today, anyway.

“Well, Sisters Moyra and Cadence lectured on romantic relationships today, and some of us were wondering if you’d like to add your perspective.”

Sister Sienna cackled. She couldn’t help it; she should have known. What other topic would so hold the attention of a dozen virgins 16 and 17 years old? She looked around the room at the expressions of trepidation. Huh. “You said Sisters Moyra and Cadence? What did they tell you?” Sienna asked gently.

Cullen looked nervous, but Sieffre baled him out. Such a good friend. “They said marriage would be difficult, and … physical relationships would result in punishment from the Maker.”

“What sort of punishment?” Sienna struggled to keep her voice neutral. The sisters in question didn’t have much in common, but they did agree that templars shouldn’t enjoy physical relationships. Stuff and nonsense.

There was some mumbling, but two words did stand out: “Lightening,” and “blind.”

Sienna took a deep breath and touched a particular ray of the embroidered sunburst on the edge of her robes. “Some in the Chantry,” she began, “believe that sex and love are too complicated and messy to be allowed in the ranks of the religion. They have a point, but sex and love are a wonderful, Maker-given part of being alive. Never forget as you choose your vows that you are _people_. You will have need for food, for sleep, and perhaps also for sex. The Maker understands this.” She paused before continuing:

“That is not to say that you should run about, having sex with everything that makes your heart flop. Represent the Chantry and your Order well, even in this. We raised you to be gentlemen, and I trust you will behave as such at all times.” Sienna watched as she spoke, seeing a balm settle on the fear that had permeated the recruits. “Honestly, if you think you could enjoy sex, then you don’t want to miss it. Just be careful. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, kick your roommate out tonight. It’s better when shared with someone you care about, but handling yourself will at least give you an idea.” There were some minute nods and few confused looks. It looked like most of them had already taken this step. Time to wrap this subject up. “Any questions? Leolin.”

“Yeah, why are Alistair’s ears red?”

The tension broke as Alistair tried to hide his head.

“Now, where were we?” Sister Sienna put a choke on her laughter, setting an example for her class. “Ah, yes, channeling the focus you’ve developed into your templar abilities.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sister Sienna has not recognized that Leolin does this all the time and always targets Alistair. *shrug* Nobody’s perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, Chantry sex ed is woefully incomplete, but oddly... sex-positive? And yet there was that one comment after Alistair's first time about getting struck by lightning and I was just?!? They must've gotten a mix of perspectives. If you, also, have woefully incomplete sex ed, I suggest Scarleteen website for details and John Oliver's sex ed video for a good overview. Start at 17:50 of John Oliver's youtube video on the politics of sex ed in the US. Search terms I used were "John Oliver sex ed."


End file.
